These are the things that I predict will happen in 2011…

  • AFL footballers will be involved in a scandal of some sort
  • If Colllingwood players are involved in the above scandal Neil Mitchell and Derryn Hinch will be champing at the bit to see who can report it first
  • The AFL scandal will probably involve St Kilda players
  • NRL players will be involved in a bigger scandal than the AFL players, possibly one involving a family pet, a hotel room and human excrement
  • On the first day in 2011 when the temperature dips below 25 degrees Andrew Bolt will write that there is no such thing as global warming and use this as proof that the earth is cooling
  • Andrew Bolt will continue to blame the Labor government for everything, regardless of whether they are involved or not, and his readers will agree with everything he says
  • Ted Baillieu will prove to be as ineffective as Brumby but will have the full support of the Herald Sun
  • Metro trains will continue to run late
  • The media will report stories about useless people like Paris Hilton etc as if they are of Earth Shattering importance
  • Andrew Bolt will continue to be a mouthpiece for the oil and mining industries. There will be another oil spill which he will say is good for the environment
  • Women’s magazines such as New Idea and Woman’s Day will continue to make stuff up
  • We will have more channels on TV but there will still be nothing worth watching
  • The Herald Sun will continue to act as Tony Abbott‘s mouthpiece
  • Actually the whole of NEWSLTD will act as Tony Abbott’s mouthpiece
  • The majority of music released in 2011 will be unlistenable
  • My rent will increase in April but I may or may not get a pay rise in July
  • More boats will come regardless of who is Prime Minister
  • Osama bin Laden will evade capture
  • Rupert Murdoch will continue to campaign against Obama
  • FOX News will continue to be fair and balanced… to the right
  • Channel 7’s football coverage will continue to be woeful

This is about all I can come up with at the moment


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