From all reports Big Brother’s ratings have been flushed down the toilet and it is easy to see why. The housemates seem to have been chosen for their freakish qualities rather than personalities. We’ve had a dwarf, a racist grandma, four young women with impossibly large breasts (Russ Meyer eat your heart out!) and high talker Travis who is so obviously confused about his sexuality (not that there’s anything wrong with that!).
Then there are the hosts Kyle and Jackie O, who really make me appreciate Gretel Killeen so much more. (We all know that having Jackie O as a host of any program is a kiss of death, as the only show that she’s been associated with that has lasted more than two seasons has been Popstars in the early 2000s.) Neither host seems to have much of a personality, but then it is hard to show any personality when you are so obviously reading off cue cards. In those very rare moments when the hosts have decided to ad-lib, it has been to either cheer on their favourite housemate, or to boo their least favourite housemate. If I remember correctly, Gretel Killeen was always impartial with the housemates and never let the audience know that she had any favourites, as this may influence the way that viewers vote. Obviously neither Kyle nor Jackie O care about whether they influence anyone’s votes, as they have clearly let everyone know who they should and should not vote for. (Grandma Terri, hooker Bridgett and high talker Travis!) Of course Big Brother’s target demographic of 12 year olds will be so gullible that they will obediently vote for whoever they are told to!
It also seems that it does not matter about the rules anymore as certain housemates are protected from eviction because they are favourites of the hosts and the producers. Grandma Terri was voted out on night one, but has again become a housemate because KYLE SANDILANDS WANTED HER BACK IN THE HOUSE!!!! (He admitted this on his radio show!) OK, they want a racist old woman in the house so that there is tension between her and Asian housemate Nobbi, but rules are rules and she was voted out. If they were going to change the rules afterwards, why have them evict someone on the first night anyway? Why not just wait until the final eviction show and bring her back or give her permanent immunity, as they so obviously want her to win.
Finally, there are all the lame celebrities that have been dropping into the house. First there was the world’s biggest douche bag Corey (Sorry, that should be ‘Party Boy’ Corey!) who was paid $200,000 to appear in the house. Then came ‘Queer Eye’ Carson, who amazingly was out ‘Queered’ by the supposedly straight Travis. Then there were the two ‘You Think You Can Dance’ judges whilst some hypnotist guy is coming this week. Who knows which obscure celebrity is coming next?! Who cares? Obviously not the Australian public as no-one is watching. Now… if only I can convince Priscilla to turn this crap off!!!