The recent death of British reality TV star Jade Goody has made me think about how the media has made a habit of lately making talentless people into celebrities and just how stupid this practice is. Whilst it is perhaps unwise to speak ill of someone who has only just passed away, let’s face it, all Jade Goody was is a former loud mouthed, potty mouthed, Big Brother contestant who found worldwide fame after racially vilifying Bollywood starlet Shilpa Shetty. I think that she may have appeared on several stupid reality TV shows in Britain, but this does not explain why Australian newspapers and women’s magazines have gone into overdrive reporting on her death. This Z-List British celebrity meant nothing to Australians, so why do we have to hear about her.
There are several celebrities like Jade, whose every antic gets reported in our Australian media which totally bewilders me. Why don’t they bother to report on people who are famous for doing stuff, not people who are famous because … umm… because they are famous! Here is a list of people I don’t want to hear about ever again.
1. Amy Winehouse – Wow, she has released two albums, one of which was sort of good, yet we hear all about her drugged out lifestyle. Who cares? Maybe if she releases another album then talk about her!
2. Pete Dougherty – He’s the Babyshambles singer doncha know. Just one question, who the fuck are the Babyshambles? OK, he’s some singer who’s sorta famous, who’s a drug addict. No-one cares!
3. Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes & Surie Cruise – Tom Cruise has actually made some very good films and I suspect no-one would bother his family if he wasn’t a Scientologist. I suppose his religion makes him fair game, yet does that mean that the media has to just make up shit to keep his name in the news.
4. Jordan – OK, she’s got huge boobs and she’s married to Peter Andre, who most Aussies suspect is gay. This makes her weird but not newsworthy.
5. I also don’t care about Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. I certainly don’t think Angelina is the sexiest woman in the world. She isn’t even the sexiest woman in Hollywood. To be honest she looks just like John Voight in drag, with freakishly huge lips, which is extremely unsexy. Just because she is married to Brad Pitt doesn’t mean she is sexy.
6. Also, please stop calling Madonna Madge. This is just stupid and annoying. Her name is MADONNA. It is not that hard to say or write. Calling her Madge is neither funny nor clever, so please stop it.