Things I Hate About Christmas #1 – Robert Zemeckis’ Uncanny Valley

The uncanny valley hypothesis holds that when robots and other facsimiles of humans look and act almost like actual humans, it causes a response of revulsion among human observers.

Here's how creepy a CG version of Tom Hanks would look. Why not just use the real life version?

Why does Robert Zemeckis have to take viewers to the depths of uncanny valley with his stupid CG mo-cap Christmas movies? Is he too stupid to realise just how creepy his creations are? If he is going to make a CG movie why does he have to make the characters look

as realistic as possible? Why not just make a live action film?

Arggggghhhh! Kill it.

I have heard that A Christmas Carol is not as creepy as the Polar Express (a film featuring the creepiest characters since Todd Browning’s Freaks) but I am still not going to watch it. Considering there are dozens of movie versions of A Christmas Carol that don’t feature creepy CG, motion capture or the ever annoying Jim Carrey, including a couple that are all-time classics, Zemeckis’ version is pretty redundant anyway.

It’s A Wonderful Life

Strange, isn’t it? Each man’s life touches so many other lives. When he isn’t around he leaves an awful hole, doesn’t he?

The other day I purchased a DVD three pack of Paramount Christmas movies from Big W for $16. The three movies were all classics: White Christmas, It’s A Wonderful Life and The Bells Of St Mary’s. This was a real bargain and if you see this available at Big W you must get it as they are also selling White Christmas and It’s A Wonderful Life separately for $13. As I said $16 for three movies is a real bargain.

Look, Daddy. Teacher says, every time a bell rings an angel gets his wings.

I must also make a warning here as Big W are also selling It’s A Wonderful Life for just $5. This is not the bargain it seems as this cheap version is through a public domain company and not Paramount. Years ago I bought the public domain version released through MRA for a cheap price. Unfortunately the soundtrack did not sync up with the movie correctly so the voices did not match the actors lips, making the film unwatchable. Thus I learnt a very important lesson about not buying DVDs from public domain companies.

A toast to my big brother George: The richest man in town.

Anyway onto Frank Capra’s It’s A Wonderful Life, one of the most corny, hokey, old fashioned, sentimental and truly wonderful classic films of all time. For some reason this is one movie that always gets me blubbering like a baby at the ending when the angel Clarence finally gets his wings.

Remember, George: no man is a failure who has friends.

For those who don’t know the story this film is about George Bailey, played by James Stewart, a man with big dreams that are never realised because he is tied down to a small town. He wants to travel the world and become wealthy but circumstances always cause him to miss opportunities and remain in Bedford Falls. Disaster strikes towards the films finale and George decides to end it all, until he meets Clarence, an angel who shows George how terrible the world would be if he had never been born. Naturally Clarence shows George just how important he really is while his friends and family repay George for his years of generosity and help him avert his disaster.

This film is an all time classic and one of my favourites even though my review does not do the film any justice at all.

5 days to go