Worst Movies Ever

I have rarely been to the cinema to see a bad movie however there have been a couple of times when I have been to see some of the worst movies ever. The problem on each of the occasions was that each of the movies received favourable reviews in the press.

 

Occasional Coarse Language is a terrible Australian movie that I was dragged to see by Priscilla in 1998. It was just a really horrible chick flick that was completely pointless and horrible. This was one of the few times where I have sat in a cinema completely bored out of my brains. I think I may have fallen asleep at one point during the film.

 

• This is why guys should never let their wives or girlfriends choose which movie to see. Thankfully Priscilla never got into Sex And The City so I was spared that rubbish!

 

Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion is according to IMDb “a terrific comedy that you can’t miss.” Bullshit!!! It is plain boring. They should market this movie as a cure for insomnia as it put me to sleep. You’d think that a film directed by The Simpson’s David Mirkin and featuring Mira Sorvino, Lisa Kudrow and Janeane Garofalo would be funny, but you’d be wrong. It certainly is not “a great and hilarious film that keeps you laughing!!!”

 

Grand Canyon is a film that features scenes of a helicopter flying around for no reason, and Steve Martin pissing his pants. Most of all it features a lot of pointlessly boring chatter. There was way too much boring talking about crap. Still, we get to see Steve Martin piss himself.

 

Toys is a 1992 film featuring Robin Williams, LL Cool J and was directed by Barry Levinson. This should be a recipe for a very good movie but the film is a disaster. IMDb says “Toys comes very close to being perfect.” But once again IMDb is lying. It’s just not very good at all and within 15 minutes of the film starting I wanted to leave the cinema. The only reason I stayed was because none of my friends that I went to see this atrocity with wanted to leave.

 

Australia is a movie that I have already reviewed. It was again a movie that made very little sense and all the stupid mumbo jumbo with the ancient Aboriginal magic man.

Copperhead, Calculator and Calendar Man

A few days ago I posted Copperhead’s debut story from The Brave And The Bold. Here is his Who’s Who page from about 1986.

As an added bonus here is the Who’s Who page of the Calculator, who has recently become a very important villain in the DCU (minus his crime outfit) and the Calendar Man who is still regarded as a joke.

As a special extra bonus, here is Calendar Man’s Missing Villains’ File from the mid-1970s which was in Batman Family.

Peter Costello vs Malcolm Turnbull

It looks as though Peter Costello is going to challenge Malcolm Turnbull for the Liberal Party leadership soon. This is what the media spin doctors are saying but I don’t think it will be so. I think Lou Costello is more likely to challenge Turnbull because Peter has proved time and time again he doesn’t have the balls to challenge for the party leadership and that he does not want to be leader of the opposition. This is why he never challenged John Howard for the leadership, but instead would whine about Howard being decrepit from behind the scenes. If Costello really wanted to be the leader of the opposition he could have done so unopposed, after their defeat at the last election. Instead he declined the opportunity and has sat on the back bench sniping at Brendan Nelson and now Turnbull.

On a similar note, Malcolm Turnbull is obviously a man of the future as he’s hip and cool and in touch with all the kids. He’s even got his own Myspace page which proves just how cool he is, even though the only people who use Myspace now are those who aren’t old enough to vote. All the really cool kids now use Facebook Mal, but I guess you’re working on that as you haven’t bothered to log in to your Myspace page for two months. I wonder if Costello has a Myspace or Facebook page.

I personally think that they should just both get into a steel cage to settle their differences. It would make politics more interesting. Dave Batista is currently in Melbourne and the WWE is touring in July, so maybe we could get them to arrange something?!

The Joker

Here is the Joker’s entry from Who’s Who In The DCU from around 1986.

Who Is Susie O’Brien?

I just wrote about Susie O’Brien’s column on Kylie Minogue and Kings of Leon here. I have done a little bit more research on the Herald Sun columnist Susie O’Brien by using Google. According to Susie O’Brien’s LinkedIn profile she’s just a year older than me. If I know who Kings of Leon, Wolfmother and Jack Johnson are then so should she, as I am not exactly the coolest of people of my generation. Anyone who is the same age as I am and knows less than I do about current popular music must really be a nerd!!!

Film Review – Charlie Chaplin’s The Circus

Charlie Chaplin’s The Circus is one of Chaplin’s most underrated films. It is not as renowned as some of his other masterpieces such as The Gold Rush, City Lights or Modern Times, which is a shame as it is a very funny film. There were actually quite a few scenes which made me ‘laugh out loud’, whilst it is very easy to see the influence that this film and Chaplin has had on every film comedian since 1928.

 

One thing that I appreciated was that I was able to empathise with the Tramp in his jealousy and his unrequited love for the girl, who only has eyes for the dashing young tightrope walker. Charlie agreeing to walk the tightrope himself after the tightrope walker doesn’t turn up, so as to prove his love even if it kills him, is very funny and something many guys can empathise with. Seeing him up on the wire with monkeys climbing all over him is just hilarious.

One thing I like about this film is that Chaplin is not trying to make a grand statement or a great melodrama like his other films. It is not overly sentimental like a lot of his later films either.

Kylie Minogue

Watching the late night news on Channel 10 the other night I saw Angela Bishop reporting that Kylie Minogue had joined the Wiggles to record the 1969 Toots and the Maytals’ song Monkey Man for their latest album. It’s a shame that this is not the Rolling Stones’ Monkey Man from the fantastic Let It Bleed album also from 1969. It would be interesting to see the Wiggles singing a song about drug addiction but I think it’s just a little inappropriate.

 

In a similar vein, yesterday the Herald Sun’s Susie O’Brien complained that lots of online music fans had criticised Kylie for agreeing to appear at the Sound Relief concert at the MCG next week. O’Brien asks the question, “I bet you’ve heard of Kylie Minogue – but how about Kings of Leon or Wolfmother? Or Liam Finn? Jack Johnson? … Probably not.”

 

Obviously O’Brien has been living under a rock for the last twelve months if she has not heard of Kings of Leon. Either that or she listens exclusively to ABC FM or talkback radio, because Kings of Leon have been played to death on every other FM station from Triple M to MIX 101, from FOX FM to Triple J. Even Gold 104 which only plays ‘good time oldies’, has spoken about how good Kings of Leon are and their chart topping song Sex On Fire.

 

Whilst I am unfamiliar with Liam Finn (Neil’s son?), even my Mum could tell you who Wolfmother are, as everyone knows that they are a Led Zeppelin cover band! (Only joking!) Jack Johnson is perhaps most well known for the song Upside Down from the Curious George soundtrack, and for hanging around with Ben Harper (another musician who Susie O’Brien hasn’t heard of?).

 

The sad thing about all this is that O’Brien does not look like she is 100 years old in her photograph above the article. This obviously makes her a nerd who does not listen to music radio or as I said earlier, only listens to ABC FM. Zzzzzzz!!! If this is the case then she really has no place in trying to discuss popular, music as she has no idea what she is talking about.

 

Just who is Susie O’Brien anyway? I rarely read the H’un and only do so when I am pointed to some piece of stupidity like this. All I know is that O’Brien is also responsible for THIS great piece of investigative journalism.