I’ll admit it. I am quite shy. I am a very introverted person who tends to keep my thoughts and opinions largely to myself. I do not mean to be rude or whatever when I am being quite, I am probably just not sure what to say. I spend a lot of my time worrying about whether what I have to say is going to either make me look stupid, or offend somebody. As a result, I tend to say very little, but when I do say something, the words are usually very carefully chosen. I tend to be very introspective and spend a lot of time worrying about how others perceive me. It can take me a very long time to warm up to somebody to the point where I am comfortable enough to speak freely without fear that I am going to be judged by what I say.
Some people may believe that I am being rude or arrogant by being quite, but I am not. Extroverted people who make this judgement usually see the world through extroverted eyes and don’t understand that not everybody is outspoken and confident like they are. They tend to spend their time judging everyone else, whilst introverted people tend spend their time judging themselves.
Sometimes I think that being shy is quite constricting. I hate making phone calls and dread the sound of the telephone ringing. I also hate meeting new people or even having to speak with people that I don’t really know very well. I am sort of able to fake being confident but it does take a lot of effort and can be very exhausting. It takes a lot of effort and is difficult for someone who is as self conscious as I am to do.
In all there are only a handful of people that I feel truly comfortable and confident with. They are my family and my partner and one or two other very close friends. Sometimes this can make me very depressed and I hate the fact that I cannot be outgoing and self confident all of the time.